The Fellowship Visit Earth
by chocolate lover
Summary: Legolas finds a hole in the air that leads to earth, and the fellowship have some strange, but funny (I hope) adventures.
1. A Hole in the Air

Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings. But, I am currently selling portable Legolas shrines over the internet, and plan to purchase the rights to him as soon as I make enough money. AHAHAHAHA! Watch out Leggy! My brilliant plan is working!!! Remember, they're only $49.99! Order yours today!

Rated PG for: mention of the word sexy'

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The Fellowship Visit Earth

One day the fellowship (minus Boromir cause he's dead & Gandalf because well, just because) were strolling through Fangorn, when all of a sudden Legolas shouted. With his special elf eyes of specialness, he saw an odd glimmer in the air. As he ran over to the glimmer, the rest of the fellowship followed grumbling.

"Look guys! It's a hole in the air!" he exclaimed.

"Oh wow, big deal," said Aragorn. "We're on a schedule here! Galadriel's party starts in two hours you know. I am not missing out on free Pepsi just because of some stupid hole in the air!"

But Legolas was not listening. He had seen a Herbal Essences billboard through the hole and his mind was made up. Before anyone could stop him, he leaped through the hole.

"Wait for me!" yelled Gimli and followed after the wonderful prince of Mirkwood.

Aragorn was shaking his head. "No, there is no way I am going through that hole."

Frodo peered through the hole. "Woah! There's a giant can of Pepsi!"

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's go!" cried Aragorn.

"Does it come in pints?" asked Pippin. "I like pints."

The remaining members of the fellowship climbed through the hole.

Now, Gandalf could've warned them about the dangers of other worlds, if he was there, which he clearly wasn't, or else he would've warned them, and they wouldn't have gone through the hole, once they heard about the terrifying rabid fangirls. But since Gandalf wasn't there to warn them, they went through the hole.

Anyway, moving on..

BEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!! Unfortunately for the fellowship, the hole was right in the middle of a busy street. EEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKK!!! They all screamed like girls and amazingly managed to dodge angry cab drivers and rabid fangirls to arrive at the base of the Herbal Essences billboard, which Legolas was now attempting to scale.

"Legolas, NOOOOOO!" yelled Aragorn. "It's just a picture!"

"I know that!" Legolas yelled back annoyed. "I'm not stupid like some people!"

"Then why are you climbing that sign?"

"Because it might tell me where to get some of that shampoo."

"Ohhhhhh," said the fellowship dramatically.

"What's shampoo?" asked Aragorn.

"Well that explains a few things," said Sam.

"But there's some in that window over there across the road," said Merry.

Legolas stopped immediately, gracefully jumped to the ground, and ran across the street (shooting arrows at cars along the way) all in about five seconds.

"Wow, he's definitely got the urge," commented Frodo.

"What?"

"Don't ask."

They followed Legolas into the Great Clips across the street. They found the hair stylists drooling over Legolas's long, silky smooth hair and fighting over who got to wash it. But as soon as Aragorn walked in, they stopped.

"Oh my god, what is that thing?!"

"Too much grease!"

"MUST GET RID OF GREASE!"

They all pounced on Aragorn and forced him into a chair.

"Somebody help meeeeee!!!" he screamed as a man in a pink shirt with a strange accent that sounded very similar to Sam's started dumping shampoo on the ranger's head.

"Trust me, you'll thank us one day," said Legolas.

After about 3 hours of hard scrubbing, the hair stylists managed to get about 1% of the grease out of Aragorn's hair. "That's it! We give up!"

The hobbits, dwarf, and Sexy Elf all burst out laughing.

Aragorn looked murderous. "This is NOT funny!" he yelled, making them laugh even more. Pippin fell on the floor and rolled into the shelves of hair products, causing it to fall over on top of him. (Fool of a Took!) The fellowship ran out before the hair stylists could even move. 

"That was close," said Gimli.

"Yeah," said Pippin, "Where do we go now?"

"Let's go there!" said Frodo, pointing to a brick building with a big yellow sign that said Best Buy'.

A/N: Please review. This is my first fan fic and I would really like to know if I'm any good or if I should forget about writing and focus on something I'm actually good at.

Oh yeah, If you're wondering why I describe Legolas as being so wonderful all the time, which you're probably not but I'll tell you why anyway, it's because my friend and I have started a cult- oops, I mean society called SPET (Society for the Protection of Elvish Titles) because Legolas is not given enough credit as being the PRINCE of Mirkwood in the LotR books. So far, we only have 3 members, but e-mail me if you're willing to join and maybe we'll start a petition or something. YAY! GO LEGGY!


	2. The Many Wonders of Electronics

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, not even the lent in my pockets. Oh, wait, I do own that. Still working on Legolas.

AN: Sorry it took so long for me to update this. I'm just lazy, I have no other excuse. Maybe if I get more reviews (hint, hint) I'll update sooner. :-)

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Chapter 2: The Many Wonders of Electronics

The fellowship stared in awe at the strange gadgets that filled the store. 

"Wow!" exclaimed Pippin, "I wonder if they have pints."

They stared for about ten more minutes, then something clicked in their brains at the same time. They all jumped and ran in different directions. The first thing Legolas found was a computer (hehe). Once he had finally figured out how to use the keyboard and mouse, the pimply teenage Best Buy employee showed him how to use the internet.

"Thank you," said Legolas, "You might want to use Oxy on your pimples! It really works!" he called after the teenager. He glared at Legolas. "What?! I use it all the time and look at my perfect skin!" The teenager walked away shaking his head. "Oh well, I wonder if I'm on this internep thing." He slowly typed his name in the search box. 

"L-E-G-O-L-A-S, enter. Hey, I did it! Wow, there are a lot of pictures of me! What the heck?! Who's Orlando Bloom? He's not half as good looking as me! Oh, what's this? Fanfiction.net? Hmmmm" (AN: God help us.)

He clicked on the first story listed. "Summary: Legolas and Elrond find their true feelings for each other. Warning: lotz and lotz of slash! I wonder what slash is. That doesn't sound right, but maybe they didn't mean for it to sound that way." 

Legolas skipped to the chapter titled, "The X-rated chapter." He was in shock when he finished. He let out a high-pitched scream and fainted on the spot.

Meanwhile, Aragorn had found the video cameras. "What new devilry is this?!" he said as he went around the store filming people. "Oh well, it's quite entertaining. La la la la la la la la la la la la la. Smile Legolas!" Legolas lifted up his head, flashed a huge grin at the camera, and went right back to being unconscious.

"That was strange. Hey Sam! Come and look at this thing!"

"Okay, Mr. Strider."

"For the last time, call me Aragorn."

"Okay, Mr. Aragorn."

"No, just Aragorn."

"Okay, Mr. Just Aragorn."

"Ack! I give up! Just look though this tube."

"Ooohhh, I can see you! This is fun!" said Sam. But Aragorn looked distracted.

"NOOOOO! Run Sam, run! It's an orc!" Aragorn yelled, unsheathing his sword. Sam dove out of the way just as the deranged ranger stabbed the big screen TV that the camera was plugged into. "Damn it! He got away! I'll get you next time my pretty! And your little dog too! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Ummm, Aragorn?

"What?!"

"That was you on the screen," Sam explained.

Crickets chirped in response.

"There they are! Seize them!" The manager was coming. "You'll have to pay for that!"

"Never!" cried Aragorn. Just then, something terrible happened. Aragorn let out his battle cry, which sounded like a mixture of yodeling and Tarzan. Everyone in the store covered their ears.

While Aragorn was busy fighting the store manager (Sam had wisely run away), Merry and Pippin were playing video games.

"Hey, I'm doing pretty good on this mission, quest, thing," exclaimed Pippin. However, his luck changed. "Oh, no! I died! Help me Merry! Let me end my short life in peace"

"Pip! You didn't really die, it's just a game." Merry explained.

"Oh, okay. Let's go have a pint, then."

Meanwhile

Sam found Frodo listening to rap, or to be more specific, Eminem. Frodo and Sam were now quoting along with the "music."

"May I have your attention please. Will the real Slim Shady please stand up."

"Two trailer park girls go round the outside, round the outside, round the outside." They got some strange stares from the other shoppers. After they were done with the rap music, the effect of which made them cuss a lot, even though they didn't know what half the words meant, they started playing with the walkie talkies.

"Can you hear me now? Good. Can you hear me now? Good." etc. Until Frodo stumbled upon the unconscious figure of Legolas. Frodo kicked him. Legolas woke up in time to see a rabid fangirl run into the next isle.

"Oh no! Frodo get Aragorn, Sam get Merry and Pippin! I'll get Gimli! Where the heck is he anyway?" Just then another fangirl ran by.

"Hurry! We don't have much time! AAHHHHHHH!" The fangirls spotted Legolas and let out their © Squeals of Death. (AN: I forgot. I do own the Squeals of Death) 

Legolas ran for his life with the fangirls right behind him. He ducked under a table just in time and saw Gimli doing something unthinkable. He was watching Snow White and the Seven Dwarves' with a bunch of little kids. 

"Come on, Gimli, we have to go."

"Just a minute, it's almost over"

"We're leaving NOW Gimli."

"But I wanna stay! WAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Legolas slapped him across the face which made him shut up.

"Pull yourself together, dwarf!"

"Make me, elf!"

"Okay." Legolas pulled out a poison arrow.

"Okay, I'm coming! Jeez."

"That's more like it."

They ran for the front entrance. Aragorn and the hobbits were already there. "Okay, let's go!"

"LEGGY!"

"ACK! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

"Don't worry Legolas! I'll save you!" cried Aragorn. "Back you evil fiends!"

"Ahhhhhh! His hair is so greasy! Let's get out of here!" The fangirls were all extremely grossed out at Aragorn's greasy head, so they left to look for someone else to stalk.

"Whew, that was close." said Pippin again.

"I wonder where Gandalf is." said Gimli. "He usually shows up by this time in the story."

"Maybe he's in there," said Merry, pointing to a building with a lot of lights and a sign reading Dance Club.'

AN: You like, you buy? Well, you can't buy it, but you can review it! What a concept! Okay, I'll go stare at my new Legolas poster now. Teeheehee.


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